Last Updated on August 14, 2019 by Sangita Ekka
Well, this is a going to be a different post. It has always been my habit to write or better say type opening a MS-Word document and then copy-pasting the entire (for the time being) sensible/ruthless/what-so-ever I throw out that moment here in my dashboard… Today I didn’t do so. I straight opened my dashboard here in blogger and am typing it out. What’s the big deal in that? Many people do that, don’t they? There’s nothing eccentric or ordinary about it. But while doing so I noticed a small change in my attitude today. This abrupt decision shook me for a moment because it showed me where an almost invisible line separates the grown ups and the children… Strange isn’t it? Out of everything that I have posted here, I have reviewed and re-reviewed each one at least thrice. Why do I do so? What so in a mere piece of gibberish that I spat needs to be “perfect” before its led out to anyone in this world to read? A small moment of contemplation and I was at a conclusion that I’ve far left that “almost invisible line” somewhere…
What I write would be read by others. What would they think if I make a grammatical error or post something silly? I must be ready to battle out their criticisms. But ultimately I want to be praised for my work.No one likes to be negotiated on what they think. They simply want to be accepted for what they have come out with their sea of emotions and the hard work of contemplating. Honest enough!
We grown ups have forgotten the fun that’s there in the spontaneity of the moments. Doing something silly because it needs to be done not because it would be appreciated. Wondering and wandering in the clouds that take up any shape we would have wanted. Everything mundane would have been a bliss. A colorful butterfly would have been the achievement of the day. Scrapped knees would have been a reason for tears. And an honest laugh when we would have fallen with a friend…
Where are those days now? Do we really need to forget them to “grow old”? Why cannot making a mistake be a part of everyday life. What makes us run now from the fear of “imperfections”? Where is that “almost invisible line” that taught us something so beautiful that we are craving for them in these hours of our lives? Where is that innocence that truly defines who we are? Sometimes this saddens me. Some questions are best left unanswered and some I feel can never be answered. But I am happy. When life takes you straight towards your destination, it also shows you some U-turns so that you can always take that turn and come back with a glimpse of what you have left behind. Aging is a one-way road but growing can always go backwards….
So imperfect that I want to be appreciated by my work. It has been that way since I crossed that line; but somewhere midst the journey of pouring out my emotions, I hope I took you back through that U-turn.No matter how silly I wrote maybe, but if I somehow managed to bring a smile upon that face that’s reading it; consider it an innocent achievement for me today. It’s like that colorful butterfly that all of us secretly admired and some hoped that it would sit on our noses…
A part of my heart she is…Reminds me of myself…:)
Originally posted on Blogger on Nov 14, 2012