She had never understood love, yet she found it in places where it was least expected. She was loved anyway no matter where she went; she was likeable, easily made friends probably because she oozed happiness right from every corner of her heart. But there is a strange desire that every human being longs for and it starts at puberty and probably ends on the death bed. Love is as strange to her as it was when she was probably 13 or younger; girls mature fast they say and she had matured precociously. It is unknown to her how people define true love and the mystery is thicker in knowing how do they know its true. She likes to read, she ain’t a voracious reader but a good book in her hands with rains on her balcony and a nice cup of tea would make her secure a lonely chair by the door and read. More than books she loves movies. She can sit for 11 hours straight (with two 3 min breaks to make a 2 min Maggi) and watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy for the umpteenth time. She is a Batman fan; Nolan did this to her. She knows every Disney character that has born out of their animation studios. She travels and would love to travel alone just to gain experiences that money won’t buy her. She is a bit of narcissist because she finds her interesting and a mystery to herself. No matter what she does, she is bombarded with love in one form or the other. May it be a stroke of sunshine on the bottle-green wine bottles in the living room or a breeze that makes her imagination run wild. There is love in her pencils and the images that she tries to draw by looking at her laptop. There is love when she is with people around though she doesn’t like to be crowded. She finds herself lucky many a times and loves that too. There is so much of love around her and still it is difficult for her to make herself fully understand what those four letters hold. Every book she has read, every painting she loved or every movie she watched communicated to her only this – LOVE!
And now she is on the brink of loving a human being. It is not like that she hasn’t loved before; she has, perhaps blindly or perhaps wide eyed and she believed it was true. Now it makes her wonder what made it fade away and turn platonic. Love begins in the eyes they say; that love sure did and now he has settled in her heart as a dear friend and nothing more! His presence is all over her diary and she won’t throw it away because it meant a lot those days; now its like reading a page of her life that she doesn’t regret creating. Such was love for her; beautiful, miserable, memorable. Now she is standing face to face with a new soul who is almost a twin of her thoughts. People’s vibes interact and their’s interact in a kind of order and chaos. Both broken beyond repair and that’s probably what brought them close. It is strange how you meet people and they become an inseparable part of your life. She is a loner and she would love to be that way for the rest of her life. Many don’t understand this. He does. This is the first time in her life when being is love is not a matter of misery to her; for the first time she didn’t inflect it on herself. She is way too happy in knowing that there is one single soul who is in with perfect harmony with her. Things are now getting a little simpler to her about love. If you ask her today, she will give you a synonym for that four letter word and it is not a platonic affection or a non platonic lust, it is – GIVE!
Some energies are inwardly directed and some outwardly. Love is one energy that can flow both directions. For her, it is mostly giving. She has given a memory of her to everyone she has met, brought back bundles that they don’t even know about. She has treasured them and unsure about what deeper levels of love she may discover, she is giving it all, more than what she has gained over till today.
Originally posted on Blogger on Aug 24, 2014